"Dates" with Your Kids

It's been a long time since grad school and I would never consider myself a parenting "expert," but I do want to take a moment to share a couple of ideas. 

If your is like our  house, it is busy - no matter how many children you have... there are school, events, extra-cirriculars, meals, shopping, playdates, doctor appointments and the list goes on and on. Sometimes, you may find it hard to slow down and just "be" with your child in that moment. There are two ideas I'd like to share that make a difference in our house.

(1) Stagger Bedtimes

(2) Take Your Child on a Date

Let me write some details. We have three kiddos (3-6-9 y/o) and bedtime for Mom/Dad takes about an hour a half - you might be thinking, what? Basically each night, each kiddo gets about 30 minutes with Mom and/or Dad. The preschooler starts first - it's bath, then 1:1 time - it varies: snuggles, TV time, reading, quiet game... things to get ready for bed. When he offiically goes to bed, it's one book, prayer, and hugs/kisses.  Then our 1st grader gets his solo time, followed by our 3rd grader.

I LOVE these quiet times - the focus is all on that child. It allows us to return to anything touched on at dinner (that'll be another entry), relax, chat about school, subjects, friends - make small talk and address anything that comes up or use it as a teaching lesson while they are young. The boys each have their favorite things to do and it varies - I love it because even as fast as my 3rd grader wants to grow up, he still wants his time with Mom/Dad.

It is my hope to always keep the lines of communication open - for big or small concerns. Even if I get the 'oh mom' plus a sigh, I'll joke about that I always hope he'll come to me for any questions. The boys really love it because instead of having to 'fight' to get a word in or feel like someone stole their thunder at an announcement, the focus is all them.  And the boys are respectfuly to each other during their bedtime snuggles/routines - even if one of the big boys comes in for a question while I'm with the preschooler, I say (and my son hears me say) "That will have to wait, I'm spending my time with L. I'll help you once he is in bed."

Another great way to give your child that special one-on-one time, is to "date your child." HA! Not the "date - date," which the kids laugh about; however, you do want to make a point to do something special with each child.  Something specific to that child - their likes, their personalities, their dream.  We've done everything to sushi (ok, sushi rolls - but not bad for a 9 year old) taking them to basketball game to movies to bike rides to ice cream to arcade places to Legoland Discovery Center to playing at the park, feeding the ducks, and each kiddo gets a solo trip to San Antonio with Daddy when in Kinder or 1st grade to experience that for themselves.

The "date" doesn't have to be elaborate - it's about the quality of time. And you might find out a lot more about school, friends, concerns, fears, ideas and much more than in the one question "how was school today?"

Always wishing you the best in all of life's adventures -

From one momma to another, Danielle